It's been ages since I've had the time to sit down and blog. But what inspired me to write today was during Michell's farewell dinner, we had a time of thanksgiving for 2015 and sharing of our resolutions for 2016.
So.. I'm gonna be reviewing my 2015 resolutions first, followed by reflecting on 2015, and lastly, my resolutions for 2016.
So my resolutions for 2015 were;
1. Appreciate my family more
I honestly don't think I accomplished this.. maybe just a little bit.
2. Walk closer with God and able to serve more regularly
I felt that I was in and out with God, it was never like an increasing closeness but more of a "I take one step forward take 2 steps back" kinda thing... But I did serve more regularly as I finished my school.
3. Get a job with good pay and no need to work weekends
This is definitely out. Well, I got a job with good pay, good colleagues (some of which they really help you so darn much), good boss, but I need to work weekends and overtime with no OT pay.. but who's complaining? It's a job too good to be true!
4. Appreciate Moses more and continue to support him in his school and work
Probably did a little bit, but need to do more.
5. Learn to cook and bake more items that I have never done before
HAAAH nope.
6. Lose a little bit of weight and maintain
NOPE EITHER. I actually put on weight but am more regular with exercising compared to last time.
7. Study harder for the 5 months more
I did! And I've graduated!
8. Appreciate my friends around me more
Definitely. With all that has happened.
9. Become less temperamental
I wouldn't say less? But maybe trying to find the problem with this..
10. Travel to Bangkok with friends
YEAP! With yanping and bush and moses (:
11. Hopefully be able to apply for BTO
Nope. One of us have yet to work full time for 1 year.
12. Blog more: about life and topics that can help readers, also on short stories
Maybe a little bit..
13. Save more money
Maybe? But also spending power more now...
14. Love more, Judge Less, Forgive More.
I kept this for at least half a year. But I don't think I made any difference even though I prayed about it.
Reflections of 2015.
Well, 2015 has been a year of changes. I've finally graduated and finished with my part time degree, left my childcare job, and found a new job. I would say that God has definitely blessed me abundantly even though I pretty much don't deserve it.
Work has been an interesting experience, meeting new people, getting to know one another more, learning the working styles. Also, I am thankful that God has used me at work in certain ways to be comfort for some. New skills have been picked up, but I only can hope that this peace will be this way for another 2 years. I know in this workplace, God has definitely placed certain people in my life to talk to me and to guide me. When I look back, God really places people in our lives at the right timing and they come to help us at the right time. Really so grateful.
For Moses and I, initially I kept saying that the relationship was stagnant. Oh I was so wrong. So many problems came up towards the end of the year and I can only be so grateful and thankful that Moses is still here with me, to be willing to go through this together, to be ever so forgiving with that big heart of his for me. Indeed God shows me so much about love through Moses.
For my family, things have been really on a rocky boat. But still, leaving it all to God and trusting that even though my Dad is almost reaching retirement age, God has plans for us and to solve our financial problems.
My walk with God has been really a "take 1 step forward take 2 steps back". Sometimes when I serve I feel like I'm just doing something that I like, which is singing. It's like my heart is not there to serve but I'm just there because I need to and that I am scheduled. But also very grateful for my cell group to always be a constant support because they are the ones who never ever judges me and I don't even have to think twice when telling them things, their prayer and support has been ever so encouraging and it is also what helped to pull me through my part time university days, and also when I struggled in the beginning of work when I felt like I couldn't fit in.
For my temperament, I may have found the reason why I have always been like that. It's a problem and I hope that somehow it would be pinpointed. Because I really feel that there's a problem and the way I react to certain stuff, it is just not right. And to certain things how I feel, like having my low self esteem, being needing attention, seeking approval everywhere.. It's just getting out of control. Hope that God will guide me through this, won't say that it'll be easy, but hopefully I'll come out of this better in control and better at being myself.
In 2015, I would not say that I have been as forgiving/graceful/loving as much as I have wanted to. I am definitely gonna work on that along with my temperament.
My resolutions for 2016!
1. To forgive myself, to accept that God's grace, to turn myself around back to God, to live freely and openly in His grace, to get rid of my low self esteem, to only seek for His approval, attention and love, and not to seek those from people.
2. To be in control
3. To be a better person, to love others just as God has loved me, to those who are unkind or unlikable, to show grace, and to forgive, at the workplace and to people and strangers around me.
4. To be a constant support for Moses and his family, and to appreciate Moses more.
5. To lose weight and cut down on snacking and food intake amounts.
6. To be an inspiration to others by letting God inspire through me.
7. To be humble at all times.
8. Appreciate my family and my loved ones more.
9. To be better at playing the guitar
10. To indulge less in spending money, be it clothes/games/gadgets.
11. To write more cards for others.
12. To continue to be thoughtful with gifts and words.
13. To continue to love work.
14. To bless others.
May 2016 be blessed for all (:
Love,
Kimberly
