Torn. Twisted. Terrified.

When you feel that you no longer know who you are anymore.
So much pain, so much emotions.
You just can't deal with all this.
Feel like running away.
Running away from these emotions.
Running away from life.
Escaping.

You don't want to feel.
You don't want to think.
Just. Run.

Does it have to take something dire
To make yourself wake up?
Wake up from your mistakes
Wake up from this nightmare
Wake. Up.

You no longer know this person that you have become.
From someone who loved, cared, careful.
To someone who is reckless, uncertain, lustful,
Torn, twisted, terrified,
Broken, unhappy, thoughtless..

The list goes on.

Warnings given.
Angels sent.
Still not waking up.

There seems to be no outlet.
No where that it can be unleashed.
Feeling like a burden on someone else's shoulders.
Not meant for it to be.

Drowning emotions in alcohol.
No, it can't be.
Suffering the after effects of it,
Is there another remedy?
Or will there even be one?

It doesn't feel deserved.
For someone to care,
For God to care,
For God to be ever so gracious.

You hurt the ones you love,
Hiding the secrets,
Hiding the feelings,
Hiding the truth.

Home is not even a solution.
You just want to be out.
Out and away from all that bullshit.

It's so hard to sleep at night,
Crying to sleep would be that remedy to sleep.
But how long can this keep up?
Nobody knows.

What are you doing with your life?
What are you trying to do with your life?
You. Don't. Know.

Your life was a lie.
Following your parents' dreams.


Torn.

Twisted.

Terrified.